Hitman 2: Silent Assassin (PC, PS2, Gamecube & Xbox – 2002)

Hitman 2 is by definition a puzzler disguised as a stealth action game. Sounds odd but not when you think about it for a moment. Each mission is practically a brainteaser as to how you complete a mission without raising suspicion. It’s like a really brutal rubik’s cube puzzle. There’s normally three or four ways to compete the mission, the proper stealthy way by not being noticed by anyone (solving it by yourself) picking off the numerous guards that get in your way one by one without anyone noticing (solving just one side and neglecting the rest) or resorting to pure wanton violence (slamming the rubik’s cube to the ground and telling it to go to hell).

All good stealth games require planning of some sort. Before each mission, you’re briefed as to what you need to do, being supplied with the appropriate documents and images needed to carry out the kill as well as a satellite map to work out guard routines and civilian placements as most missions take place in public areas.

In theory you could just get a machine gun and wade in taking out all who oppose you yet chances are you’ll be overwhelmed by guards in a few seconds. You could get a sniper rifle, climb to the top of a really high building and pick off your target from afar. But chances are the building will be surrounded and swarming with guards (getting the picture yet?) within moments making escape almost impossible. In these instances, a different approach comes into play, mainly concealment and disguise.

Sneaking up behind someone with the fiber wire is one way of silencing guards or potential witnesses

People will be suspicious of the shady bald man in a black suit if they were standing 20 feet away from them but won’t if he’s dressed up in guards or civilian clothing. Therefore when killing or knocking out a guard or civilian, taking their clothes is sometimes the only way to get into areas you couldn’t access by yourself.

The first level is a perfect example of this: there’s a mansion that you need to enter to kill a mafia leader and free a hostage. The main gates are being patrolled by guards, the first side entrance has a guard normally coming through to ‘relieve’ himself every now and again, there’s a postman nearby having a cigarette and there’s a courier delivering food to the kitchen.  One of the possibilities is hiding your weapons in the food and stealing either the postman or courier’s uniform and walk straight into the premises after being searched, collecting your weapons in the kitchen and wrecking havoc from the inside. There are many others options and methods but it all depends on how you approach the situation and what happens when you do.

Common sense comes into play as well when you obtain these disguises, you can’t be close to certain personnel otherwise they’ll discover you and wearing guard uniform is a no no if your face is visible. If you’re out of place, they’ll suspect you but only if you stay within their field of range. Pressing forward normally allows you to bypass  this unless you go into an area that’s out of bounds in which case you’ll be greeted with machine gun fire.

Obtaining disguises are normally a good way of getting through security. Just be sure to actually hide the bodies.

Also guards don’t suffer from Solid Snake syndrome (everyone suffering from collective amnesia when you’re out of sight for ten seconds), when you’re spotted, you’ll need some powerful weapons and a good vantage point to get out alive. They won’t forget you or your disguise and will search every nook and cranny until they find you which normally leads to some of Hitman 2 most thrilling moments.

But the greatest thrill is simply going in unnoticed disguised or otherwise, getting past security, performing your kill and getting out unnoticed. Trying to achieve the perfect kill is a mixture of tension and exhilaration as you carefully make your way through each situation without blowing your cover.

But the real joy is approaching each mission the way you want to, the game doesn’t penalize you so long as you complete each task, directly or indirectly . To be honest, there’s something liberating about breaking the rules and massacring an entire army because you didn’t want to hide in the shadows for half an hour but that’s missing the point. For those who want to break away from the norm and the Metal Gear solid definition of stealth, they’ll find themselves playing a thoughtful and clever action puzzler.

Why are these ‘ancient’ devices so futuristic?

Graham Linehan posted this up on his twitter account a few days ago and I thought it was worth posting up again. A flowchart of every Japanese RPG plot.

Sadly I find it funny and quite accurate as I can think of at least a dozen JRPGs that I’ve played that follow these story-line formulas. Don’t know what that says about me.

If clicking on the picture doesn’t work, the he full size chart can be found here.

A stopgap of sorts!

Another article that I wrote for geeks.co.uk a few weeks ago. Finding the time to properly update the blog is becoming harder and harder since I’m currently in crunch time regarding college as a treasure trove of essays, assignments, exams and a thesis awaits me over the next few weeks. So as far as an update goes this’ll plug the gap until I get enough free time to properly write something. Anywho, I know I already wrote a blog on voiceovers but since this was for a website, I approached it differently. My personal favorites are Mortal Kombat 4 and Animal Sorld Soccer just for sheer awfulness.  Apologizes to anyone who actually checks this blog regularly but you’ll have to wait a tad longer before I can write something original.

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The Worst Videogames Voiceovers

Must try harder

Inspired by a feature on storylines in games a few weeks ago, we touched upon some of the worst voice acting to feature in videogaming. Looking back on that piece, we feel that we didn’t go far enough in demonstrating how horribly wrong these scenes can go. So for educational purposes and a cheap laugh or two, we give to you just a few examples of the worst voice acting you can get in videogames.

Deus Ex (PC)

In its defense, Deus Ex is a fantastic game and at the time, one of the most immersive FPS on offer. However, when you reach the Hong Kong district, the quality of acting takes a sharp decline either through odd dialogue or hammy accents. I get why the Hong Kong natives speak so poorly since you can make the case that English isn’t their main accent but a number of questions arise. For example, why does the bartender have an Australian accent? How does a man with a dodgy Irish accent know he was a mule in Northern Thailand? Why didn’t they go one step further and get the scientist to say E=mc2 since they were kind enough to give him a stereotypical German accent?

Deep Fear (Sega Saturn)

There’s something about the guard that reminds me of Cleveland from Family Guy but the feelings evoked from both characters packs quite an emotional punch. The guard’s heartfelt plea at the end of this clip is perhaps good advice for everyone and really brings it to a climatic close.

House of the Dead 2 (PC, Dreamcast)

Where do we start? The main character’s obvious amusement at entering a building, his ‘don’t move!’ reaction when confronting Goldman and speaking of Goldman, while it’s kind of him to point out that it’s the last battle, he delivers his lines with the energy of a eight year old with an alcohol problem reading aloud in class. Oh, did I mention his pronunciation of ‘life cycle?’

Chaos Wars (PS2)

To summarise, Uru speaks as though he’s in a parody movie you’d find at Newgrounds.com and is incredibly camp, which when you think about his interactions with Nicole becomes quite disturbing. Karen sounds braindead, Shizuku slurs her words and Hyoma and Hayatemaru appear to have inherited the worst inner city American lingo from the 80s.

Mortal Kombat 4 (PSX)

Breathtaking for all the wrong reasons, while there’s the obvious problem of the character models looking and moving quite rigidly, some thoughts spring to mind: (1) While Jarek clearly jumps off the cliff (with some deft movement by Sonia, it must be said) how did he manage to hang off the ledge two seconds later? (2) After crushing that walkie talkie, couldn’t he have laughed.. well, better? (3) Why did Jax ask what happened when (again two seconds later) he knows about Sonia’s death and (4) “This is not a brutality, this is a fatality!” perfectly describes the quality of this cutscene.

Belief and Betrayal (PC)

It’s really the latter part of this cutscene that’s annoying. The main character is a smug twat, apparently a ladies man and speaks so fast that he responds to conversation topics before the words have even been spoken. He’s also a journalist who, judging him by this scene alone, probably gets all the articles that nobody else wants or worse, writes weekly articles on flash games.

Animal Soccer World (PS2)

Saving the best till last, if you thought the above was bad, you ain’t seen nothing yet! All I can say is that this really does need to be seen to be believed and you’ll need to be an emotionless dunce not to feel some embarrassment towards the quality of acting and the background music that only heightens the suspense.  To this day, I still have no idea if this game has any actual gameplay and to be honest, I don’t think I want to find out!

My top five games of the decade…

As part of the University Observer’s review of the decade supplement, I was to write a piece on the best games to grace the decade. When reading this bear in mind that tight space meant that I could only choose five games and briefly justify each choice in an article that was 600 words long, hence the very short summaries for each game. Also the fact that there were so many games that could have easily made this list made my choices all the more difficult. So without further ado, what I define to be the games of the decade are…

Pokémon Gold and Silver (GBC 2001)

If the start of the decade was nothing more than a faint memory to you, chances are you can at least remember a time when the world was gripped with pokémania.

Game Freaks had already hit upon a winning formula with the original Red and Blue versions and could have easily churned out more of the same. Gold and Silver went two steps further and created one of the most absorbing world in gaming.

100 new monsters, a real time system that meant you could only catch monsters at certain times or days and the introduction of two new monster types that balanced out its rock, paper, scissors style battle system meant that the game was a joy to experience as you became the number one trainer.

Gold and Silver was a true evolution and allowed the series to burn brightly unlike its later sequels which has become less imaginative as the series progressed.

Silent Hill 2 (PS2 2001)

Games tend to be quite shallow with stories, normally relying on plotlines that could be summarised in one line and having no real bearing on the actual experience.

Silent Hill 2 made the story its heart, relying on the psychological that messes with every nook and cranny of your brain. A storyline that drenched in symbolism and atmosphere and well defined cast makes it a memorable experience.

However, the real star of the game is the town itself, a fog-drenched and isolated locale that only heightens your uneasiness as you walk through the town. An experience that becomes genuinely tense as you try to avoid the sparsely populated monsters roaming its streets.

Portal (PC, PS3, Xbox 360 2007)

With the number of action and first person shooter games that were released, it was difficult to pick out of a steller lineup. Halo, Gears of War, Metroid Prime, Fallout 3, Bioshock, could have easily made this list. However, a game that may not have received as illustrious a reputation as the above came included with another shining example of first person shooters, Half Life 2.

While the game premises is quite simple, the ingenious device that is the portal gun turns most gaming conventions on their heads. Getting your head around its uses and figuring out how to approach each room injects the game with a layer of creativity and originality that is rarely seen.

Also, an intriguing antagonist combined with an undercurrent of dark humor means that it’s an exhilarating experience from start to end. Its only flaw is its short length but it’s such an enjoyable game, you won’t care.

Grand Theft Auto IV (PS3, Xbox 360 2008)

Perhaps an obvious choice but its one that has affected the way we look and evaluate games. Take away the violence and controversy that has become more of a trademark of the series than the game itself and you’d still be left with an incredible, detailed game.

Rockstar North have created one of the most believable and diverse game worlds ever to grace any system and the level of depth it demonstrates can only be described as a technical achievement. A masterpiece in all respects.

Football Manager series (PC, Mac, PSP 2004 – Present)

Whether or not you’re a football enthusiast, the level of detail and additions each instalment brings makes it one of the most engrossing sports series in videogames. There is genuine satisfaction in taking a team of no-hopes and bringing them to the Premier league and can quickly become an obsession.

Alternatively, there is also genuine satisfaction to be had in taking over Man Utd or Liverpool, replacing their best players with a group of 40 something veterans from the Ryman league and cripple them both financially and competitively. Perhaps the real reason Football Manager was created!

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Off the top of my head, other games that I would have liked to have included in this list were The Sims, Gears of War, God of War, Crackdown, the Metroid Prime series, No More Heroes, Okami, Resident Evil 4, Halo, Bioshock, Ico, Shadow of the Colossus, Super Mario Galaxy, Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess and Half-Life 2.

What were your top games of the decade? Do you agree with anything featured on this list or have I missed any other gaming gems?